Rules of Dating: Rule Seven - Team Mentality

My loves, and others, previously, I wrote a post titled 'Rules of Dating'. In it, I detailed my mindset and particular set of rules I generally practice when meeting someone. The rules apply to both friendships and romance. There were five rules in that post. Afterward, I wrote another post titled 'Rule Six: Intentions'. If you have not read the first two posts, I would highly advise you to click the links where the names are for clarity. If it's been a while, re-read them.

(Done? Ah. Fantastic.)

Here are the rules we have so far:

Rule One: enter with a positive attitude or don't enter at all.
Rule Two: be the person that expresses kindness and care, and uplifts.
Rule Three: communicate clearly, listen, ask and answer questions.
Rule Four: be accepting and patient of others and compliment their weaknesses with your strengths, accept their strength in your weaknesses.
Rule Five: be yourself, but your best self.
Rule Six: enter with the best and purest intentions, to love and be loved.

Now that we've gone over what's been said, twice, let's move on.


For me, in the very beginning, my intentions are love. The moment I meet that person, I want what is best for him (friend) or her (friend/date/love). I want that person to be happy. I want that person to be successful. I want to get to know that person, understand what's going on in their life, and take whatever it is that person is handling and kick it up a notch. I love it when people come to me and tell me what they want in life, or what they're going through, because once I know, and if there is a way I can do something about it, if that door has been opened so that I can enter, I introduce a positive influence in their circumstances or mind. I like to inspire and offer emotional support. It is what I am designed to do. I was built by God to be loving, helpful, and protective. If I can not help, I at least like to offer encouragement. The friendship or relationship is established, my pure intention of love transforms me and her into us.

To me, when you are friends or in a relationship, you are a team. What do teammates do? They have each other's back. They support each other. One person gets tired; the other comes in off of the bench and takes the ball. One person sees an obstacle; the other blocks that obstacle. One person is about to score a victory; the other person helps clear the path. If one person is stuck in a headlock, the other person jumps over the ropes and dropkicks the enemy. I do not enter a friendship or relationship solely with myself in mind. We are a team. If you bleed, I will give you a transfusion. If you cry, I shed a tear and offer a tissue. If you lose, I have suffered a loss. We are one.

Some people like to go it alone. To each is their own. I personally like to build a connection and talk about what's going on. I like to share my feelings and thoughts. I like to dig deep and pour out my soul. It feels better. Sometimes, there are things others can do for me. Sometimes, there are not. However, it's knowing the support is there that makes the difference. Presence alone is a blessing in itself. I want to be there for that person. I want to hear their aspirations and fears. I want to hear and understand their conflicts and pains. We all have much to learn from each other. And honestly, I don't believe God brought that person into my life so that I can shrug their hand from my shoulder and say, "I got this," especially when that person may have the skills, knowledge, and resources to solve a particular situation, and I didn't accept them.

God blesses us with friends and loves. How can we not utilize those blessings? God brings people into our lives so we can be a blessing to them. How can we not be a blessing to others?

(I thought of this song by Dave Barnes. If you like this song, please support the good man by checking out his other works on YouTube and ordering an album.)

When I enter a relationship, I enter with that team mentality. We both have things on our plates. We share what is on our plates. We both tackle the plate together, as a unit, as a team. Two heads are better than one. We work together to resolve burdens and pains for mutual happiness. Because happiness and peace are the goal.

Now, as has been stated time and time again, no one is perfect but the Lord. Sometimes, your teammate will make tragic mistakes. The person will drop the ball. The person will not be effective in blocking your obstacles. That person might be more of a burden or hindrance than a benefit. Teammates stick with each other. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. You stick together. You work on it. And you find victory another day. As rule four implies, see that person's weakness and apply your own strength. The Lord is consistently and impeccably uniting opposites. Opposites attract to compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses. In opposites, you have balance.

When that prospective she is on my team, there's never just the two of us. There are three of us. There's me, her, and God (the Lord loves me and is always with me). Any team with God in it is the best team. Let's say life is football, you can trust God to be the best quarterback. No matter where you are on the field, He can toss it to you. He knows exactly where everyone is and is going to be. He throws the ball exactly where and when it needs to be there, and at the perfect speed. You catch it. You can trust God to be the perfect wide receiver. Even if you have the worst arm and throw waaaaaaaay off the mark, you can trust that God will still be there to catch it and take it in for the touchdown.

In a relationship with two people reliant on, loving of, and trusting the Lord, you can bet your britches that God will be there when that person fumbles the ball. And if He's not there, He would have positioned you there to recover it. The other person may sometimes prove to be unreliable, but God is always reliable. Two people in Christ are constantly growing and maturing, because they have Christ in them. They can pray together to tackle the things on the mutual plate. When things are overwhelming, they can support each other, and both lean on the Lord (through prayer and in regular readings of the Word). When they have an obstacle they can not overcome, the Lord will make that obstacle a lesson to grow them and/or kick it aside. When one person becomes a burden or hindrance due to weakness, the Lord will strengthen the other to compensate.

To some, friendships and relationships are two individuals interacting with each other but pursuing and doing their own things. To me, friendships and relationships are two (or three with God) entities that become one ultimate entity capable of overcoming multiple tasks in unison.

That is what I want. I want a trinity. I want you, me, and God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). A trinity with the Holy Trinity. I can think of nothing better in life than having the love of God and a woman, loving God and a woman, and my woman having God's love and mine.

Through Christ, my soul is larger, brighter, and hotter than the greatest and largest star. From its deepest depths to the brim, He has filled and overflowed it with love. I will pour out my love onto you like an endless ocean, a tireless tidal wave of passion and peace, and burn ever brighter. That is the gift of love God has given me. That is my mentality.

Rule Seven is be a unit and maintain a team mentality. Let no obstacle divide you, but overcome and persevere, and conquer together, and with the Lord.


Will there be an eighth rule? At one point, it came to me. I cannot remember it. But if it is not, I like these seven.

I may have more to add to this post. When writing it, I felt as though I was missing something. I felt as though there was a need for an amendment. We will see.

The point of these rules is to create and have something beautiful.

(This is one of my favorite songs by the Newsboys.)

May the Lord our God fill your heart with love, and ignite your spirit.


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